Mine

I am completely smitten with this child.  In my eyes, he just grows more and more handsome every day.  As if his good looks weren't enough to win me over, there's his silly sense of humor, his thirst for knowledge, his courageous spirit, and his tender heart.  I am so, so thankful that he is mine.

He is my firstborn.  His arrival made me a mama.  And while I have carried and loved a second son, and while I am waiting for and loving a third....C has really been my only child.  For coming up on 6 years now, he and I have been spending our days together.  There is no one else around to share the attention with, so we lavish it on each other.  Is he spoiled?  Yes.  (I really don't know how an only child can not be spoiled...it's just the nature of being the only one)  Am I spoiled?  Absolutely.

I am not naive as to how my little man's world is going to change with the addition of his new brother.  In just a couple of months, his world is going to be rocked.  My world is going to be rocked.  And, as previously discussed, we know lil' peanut's world will be rocked as well.  There's gonna be a whole 'lotta rockin' going on.  It will be challenging and it will take time while we all adjust to our new normal.



And as desperate as I am to have lil' peanut home, I have been feeling a different kind of desperation lately.  I am hyper aware right now of how magical this time is.  And I am desperate to cherish and treasure and hold onto these last precious months with my firstborn.  Just he and I.  Because I know that soon, it will never be like it is now again.

And I really, really love how it is now.  I have often heard that the transition from one to two children is the hardest to make.  I haven't even gone there yet, but I'm a believer.  Once you are already parenting multiple children, you know how easy it is to love them all.  But, when you only have one.  When you've only had one for so long...you wonder, will it be the same?  My love for them?  Again, I'm not there yet, but I think the answer is no.  It won't be the same.  I don't think it's meant to be.  Maybe it's similar to how I answer C's random questions about which toy/person/activity I like better.  I always say "I like them both for different reasons."  And then I go on to talk about what makes each one unique.  Is, "I love you both for different reasons" a good answer to those questions I'm sure are to come about who my favorite is? ;)  I do know this, there is one reason why I love my boys that they all have in common. 

I love them because they are mine.