I came across this post in the facebook group for parents of Korean adoptees that I'm a part of...
"It would be so nice if my son could just say, "Mommy, I'm feeling insecure and out-of-place and need you to reassure me of your love." Instead, he whines, clings, demands my attention every three minutes and starts acting out in horrible ways when I don't respond and then gets worse when I get punitive. We cycle downward, both of us showing our worst side and then it's only after a day of this that it hits me like a V-8: OOOhhhhh, he's feeling insecure and out-of-place and needs me to reassure him! Unfortunately by that time I am so done. Just some midnight venting after a hard day."
Yes, yes and yes. I have so been there. I so AM there with this little guy. Another mom responded with the best advice she'd ever heard "Parent to the need not the behavior." Makes sense, but in the moment, it's hard to remember. I just found it reassuring that parents with kiddos home much longer than lil' peanut (15 months) are still seeing their little ones struggle with some of these big feelings. These babies really have gone through a loss and trauma that deeply affects them, and their behavior often can't be chalked up to "typical toddler."
Just hanging in there these days...doing my best, even when it's not good enough...praying for God to fill the gaps...loving this little munchkin through the hard stuff. (It helps that he's so cute!) ;)
"It would be so nice if my son could just say, "Mommy, I'm feeling insecure and out-of-place and need you to reassure me of your love." Instead, he whines, clings, demands my attention every three minutes and starts acting out in horrible ways when I don't respond and then gets worse when I get punitive. We cycle downward, both of us showing our worst side and then it's only after a day of this that it hits me like a V-8: OOOhhhhh, he's feeling insecure and out-of-place and needs me to reassure him! Unfortunately by that time I am so done. Just some midnight venting after a hard day."
Yes, yes and yes. I have so been there. I so AM there with this little guy. Another mom responded with the best advice she'd ever heard "Parent to the need not the behavior." Makes sense, but in the moment, it's hard to remember. I just found it reassuring that parents with kiddos home much longer than lil' peanut (15 months) are still seeing their little ones struggle with some of these big feelings. These babies really have gone through a loss and trauma that deeply affects them, and their behavior often can't be chalked up to "typical toddler."
Just hanging in there these days...doing my best, even when it's not good enough...praying for God to fill the gaps...loving this little munchkin through the hard stuff. (It helps that he's so cute!) ;)
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