The things he says...

"You're my baseball" said to me while swinging his foam bat a few feet away from my head.

C:  We forgot to pray!
Me:  You're right, we did.  Would you like to pray?
C:  Yes.  Dear Lord, thank you for this beautiful day in Maryland and for mommy and daddy.  And bless them.  And if they die, please take care of me.

Excerpts from his conversation at his last doctor's visit.
Doc: You must be Christopher.
C:  Yep.  That's my mom right over there.  Her name's Rachel.
Doc:  Can you tell me why you came to the doctor today?
C:  Yep.  I got a pretty bad cough.  It's been keepin' me up all night.
Doc:  Do you have any brothers or sisters.
C:  No.  It's just me at our house.  But, pretty soon we're gonna adopt a baby and then I'll have a baby sister.
Doc:  Oh?  Is it going to be a boy or a girl?
C:  Mom says if it's a boy...we can keep it.  And if it's a girl...we gotta keep it.
Me:  That's right.  You get what you get.
Doc:  Hmm...what do you think you'll name her if it's a girl?
C:  Rapunzel.
Doc:  Somebody must've seen Tangled.  What about a boy?  What will his name be?
C:  It'll be Batman.  Just like my name is Batman sometimes.

Pointing at the lady dining at the table next to us, "Wow, she's old."

Me: What are you thinking about C?
C: I'm thinking about bad guys breaking into our house so I can fight them.
Me:  Oh....well, I'm glad we have strong locks on our doors.  I don't think any of the bad guys will be able to get in, but I'm glad that you'll help me fight them if they do.
C:  No, no, no Mom.  You should just stay where you are.  I'm the strongest.

C: Remember when my pet chicken died?
Me:  You had a pet chicken?  I didn't know that.  Where were you keeping him?
C:  He was in the backyard eating popcorn.  But, he died.  I still have the chicks though.  They like popcorn too.

"Mom, you're my space man."

After looking between the couch cushions "I found something!  It's a rotten old chicken cat."

Me:  Boys are stinky and smelly.
C:  And girls are shiny and poopy.

"I will never ever stop crying!  I will cry night and day!"

After putting him in the seat of the cart at the grocery store "You're squashing my penis!"

"Babies don't know what they're doing when they're babies, right?"

"It goes baby, small kid, big kid, grown-up"

C:  Mom, is Nana gonna die?
Me:  Hopefully not for a very long time.
C:  But she's getting really old!

"I miss when I pooped in my diaper all the time."

While helping him get dressed
C:  Mom, I hate it when I see my penis.
Me: Why?
C:  Because it's disgustin'!

"Can you make your smile face again because I'm sorry?"

C:  Here's a flower.
Me:  Is it for me?
C:  Yeah because it has love in it.
Me: What baby?
C:  It has love in it from me.

C:  You are wasting all my love.
Me:  What? 
C:  Every time you spank me, you take my love away and you are wasting it.
(Just for the record, he had not even been spanked that day...or in recent days for that matter)

After unrolling the entire roll of toilet paper
Me:  Oh, Christopher.
C:  Mom, I was trying to make it be like blondie from that movie.
Me:  What?
C:  Rapunzel

Me:  You know, it's not for sure that we'll adopt a girl.  It might be a boy.  We just have to wait and see.
C:  It's gonna be a boy?  HOORAY
(giving me a giant hug)
C:  Thank you.  You're gonna adopt me a baby brother.

"Mom!  That lady I was talkin' to looked just like Nana.  Except she had white hair and Nana has black hair."