It's worth it

Hubby is out with C for a little while so I am enjoying a few moments to myself.  Something I have not had much of lately.  There is this little boy...an energy-filled, attention-craving little boy that wants all of me all the time.  And honestly, it's exhausting.  Motherhood is exhausting.  Isn't it?  Or am I the only one who ever feels like that?  Of course, I feel that it's worth it.  But, that doesn't change the fact that sometimes I crave a quiet moment so I can curl up and read a chapter of my newest book uninterrupted.  Or that I would love to be able to get dressed without a little person wrapping himself around my legs declaring, "You're stuck in the net Mommy!"  Or that I wouldn't mind if those goldfish crumbs would cease to exist so I could quit the whole once-a-day vacuum thing.  The past few days have been a little rough.  And by bedtime I am pretty much "mama'd" out.  I find myself spending more time on the computer, checking facebook, just so I can have some kind of connection with the adult world.  Because, while my son is a lot of fun, he is not the only kind of company I crave.  I miss having friends nearby.  Friends who know my heart, recognize my love for my child, and at the same time understand my need for a little bit of 'me time'.  Friends who jump at the chance to spend an evening out sans kids to catch up with one another, share our common struggles, and offer encouragement that only a fellow mother can give.  Man, I miss that.  I know that I will have it again one day.  It just takes time...the whole building friendships thing.  It just takes time.  And there will be lots of it to invest in meeting friends soon enough.  But, yesterday I made a conscious effort to spend my time with my son.  And at the end of the day, when I looked at him and saw a fresh bruise on his shin from our playground escapades and dirt on his knees from our time spent outside, and a stain on his shirt from a lunch shared with daddy, and sand under his nails, and icecream dripping down his chin, and that tired look in his eyes...the look that says, "man I am tired...what a great day."  I knew it had been a great day indeed.  And I felt once again, that it is worth it.