Lil' peanut is not quite so little anymore. He will be three and a half soon and is growing up in lots of ways! He can engage in more lengthy conversations, accomplish tasks like putting on his own shoes and getting undressed, and let's not forget he is perfecting the art of teasing his brother with comments ranging from "you meanie kerker" to "your fault!" and "you smell." Lest you feel too bad for C, I'm sure lil' peanut's knowledge of all these insults comes from enduring them himself. Ah, brothers.
He is still my little helper. Unlike another child in this house who has never enjoyed helping, lil' peanut is always eager to jump in. "I help you" is a very often heard phrase around here. His favorite things to do are throw away trash (especially in the new flip top trash can in my room) and put the laundry in the dryer. He always exclaims "I big helper!" after he completes a job.
He is generous with his things and his affections. Whenever C asks nicely for something, lil' peanut will almost always comply. I don't know where he got it, but he calls me beautiful all the time. "You bewful mom." Precious. He gladly gives and accepts snuggles, hugs and kisses. Lately he has been seeking out more cuddles (I'm sure baby brother has something to do with that) and will maneuver his way onto my lap while I'm nursing pumpkin. There's not a ton of room and he is usually hanging halfway off, but we make it work. He tells us he loves us often. "I love you Mom." (Seriously, Mom?! What is he 16?) ;) Whenever anyone is leaving he always says I love you. He'll say it even if he is just leaving the room.
As far as attachment goes, we are coming up on a year and a half home and it still often feels like a roller coaster ride. Up and down, up and down. He doesn't seem to struggle in any way with Daddy, so that has been difficult at times for me. To deal with the hard stuff, and to feel so alone in it because when hubby walks in the door, lil' peanut seems to instantly transform into a different kid. If he has spent all day raging at me you would never know it once Daddy is around. It was like that in the beginning too though. It came easy with Dad, but he's made me work for it. Which is ok, and understandable (he had his umma and it is probably a lot harder for him to give up that role to someone else since he was much closer to her than his foster dad) but it's not easy. It can be exhausting and frustrating that I still feel like he's making me earn his affection/approval. We have more good days than bad and he does know without a doubt that I am mom. I tell him often that he's my special boy and I'm so glad I get to be his forever mama. He just nods his head along with my words and smiles.
He has shown a lot more interest in his story of joining our family lately. He likes to read the story book that we made for him. Usually he just skips to the page of the Korean air plane and says "Mommy Daddy ride airpwane Krea!" He talks about his foster mom too. I don't know how much he truly remembers and how much is what he knows from us talking about her ourselves. He will point her out in the pictures around our house and in his book. Yesterday he randomly looked at me and said "I wanna go Umma Jae's house." When I told him that I wish we could go now but we'll have to wait until he's bigger he insisted. "I bigger now." Breaks my heart to think he is missing her. I hope it's not too many years before we can go back. I still get daily page views from Korea so I know even now she is checking in on him.
Lil' peanut has brought a lot of fun into our family. He can be stubborn and sassy but is usually sweet and agreeable. We think he has the quirkiest little personality. His expressions and tone of voice just crack us up! He laughs often and still has such a zest for life about him. It's the simplest of things..."What are you doing buddy?" "I spin in circle!" And then he does, and he squeals and laughs like nothing on earth could possibly make him happier.
And we really couldn't be happier with the precious little boy that made our lives and hearts so much fuller. We love you lil' peanut.
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