Two months home

We are at two months home.  Or "home."  We spent about one month at home and have been here at my parents' for, one month?  Three weeks?  I'm losing track!  It's less than a month now until we we will all be home, for good.  ALL of us!  Hubby gets back on September 24th (the same day as my surgery).  I am so relieved that he is coming home.  I am dreading the work that needs to be done on my ankle, but it played a hand in bringing my husband back, so it deserves some credit for that.  I am also nervous for yet another change for our lil' peanut.  He and I are in a really good place right now.  Some strong bonds/attachment going on and lots of mutual affection!  I am nervous how the switch from mom as primary caregiver to dad will affect that.  Hubby is going to absolutely love this little guy...but based on his previous patterns, I know to expect some tough stuff.  Probably not initially.  When he first came home and then when we arrived in Kansas he sailed through the first week or two.  Then his adrenaline wore off and he was like "Wait, what?!"  I have been thinking of all the ways this whole "non-weight bearing" deal is going to interfere with our relationship.  And I don't like it!  I hate that I won't just be able to pick him up and set him on my hip (or really hold him at all while standing) or carry him in the ergo when we go some where.  Big, big bummer.  He loves to be picked up and held by me and he is so content in the ergo.  The most important thing is that our little family will be back together again...we'll get through the tough stuff.

Speaking of tough stuff, these two are still struggling.  Well, one of them is. ;)  Lil' peanut truly does adore his big brother!  And I know that C loves him.  He has just had a very difficult time adjusting.  I know we are only two months in...and that is still early considering C knew "life as it was" for almost 6 years.  It's been really hard.  To watch.  To parent through.  To deal with alone.  (Not alone, without their Daddy around is what I should say.  My family has been so gracious and supportive and I honestly think I would be crazy right now if we had stayed in MD)  When it is sweet between them it is so, so sweet.  Hoping soon that those "few and far between" moments begin to become more regular.

Like I said earlier, lil' peanut and I are doing really well.  After about a week and a half here I think my sweet boy finally lost it.  I hadn't seen turmoil like that in him yet, even back at home.  He was grieving.  He was angry.  He wanted nothing to do with me...and yet I was the only one he wanted to have anything to do with.  There was a lot of sitting next to me screaming, running to me to be held but then hitting me and throwing himself on the floor when he got there.  Really if he was not eating or sleeping, he was screaming/crying.  He would literally be upstairs for five minutes after a nap and start signing for night-night again.  He just wanted to escape his new reality, I think.  It was just heartbreaking...and exhausting.  And then little by little he started to return to his sweet, silly, easygoing self.  His normal.  Or what I thought was his normal.  Since then, as he has grown more and more attached to me, I have been amazed at just how sweet and easygoing he really is.  He is just an absolute joy!

*He is signing up a storm.  He would know more if I would get with the program and learn more myself. ;)  Some of his most recent ones are hat, shoes and stop.

*He often tries to repeat what we say.  Today C and I were talking about the planet (or used-to-be planet) Pluto and lil' peanut was saying "Tuto."  C thought it was hilarious!  Bye is one of his more recent words.

*He is smart!  And a little mimic.  Yesterday C was getting ready to head out with Papa and lil' peanut, after watching his brother for a minute, ran for his own shoes and grabbed the sunscreen and started trying to put it on. 

*The child asks for his diaper to be changed!  Craziness!  He will come up to me and sign "diaper change" and then when I say "Can you lay down like a good baby?"  He flops down on the floor so I can change him.  Cuteness!

*Just over the past week I have been able to leave the room before he is asleep at both nap and bedtime.  He sometimes stays awake and "talks" to himself (or his stuffed monkey!) for a little bit, but he doesn't get upset.  Speaking of sleep, he is a champion sleeper!  He naps 3, sometimes 4, hours a day!  And sleeps through the night from about 9-6 or 7.

*He loves bath time.  He didn't at first.  We actually always ended bath after washing his hair because he hated it.  Now he will lay back and smile at me while I sing a song and wash his hair.

*My parents babysit my one year old niece, and he is always snatching her paci out of her mouth.  If we put it away and there's no paci to go after then he tries for his second choice, her glasses.  He is still learning those are no-nos.

*He doesn't like to be told no, but there are rarely any full-blown tantrums.  He gets over it pretty quickly.  The other day I got onto him (about the glasses I think!) and he started crying big old crocodile tears and fell into my arms to be held. :(  Poor baby!  I wonder if he was more upset because I had told him no in Korean?

*He actually loves it when I use the few Korean phrases that I know.  Sometimes at the table he will put his hands on his head for me to say sarangheyo and then he smiles so big.  Whenever he is starting to wander off and I tell him uh-uh (he ignores me) and then stop (he ignores me) but then I will start saying stop in Korean over and over again in a "I'm gonna get you" kind of silly voice and he will start laughing and run back to me.


*He loves to go, go, go!  He is always bringing me his shoes and signing "car."  Even if we've just gotten back!  Oh, and he can often be found wearing only one shoe.  My sister-in-law said to me today "Every time I see him he's either wearing just one shoe, or carrying one shoe."  He's silly like that. :)

*Our first Sunday at church here in KS I kept him in the service with me.  He lasted through the music and prayer and then we had to make our exit and spent the rest of the time walking around outside.  Since then I have left him in the nursery.  The first two times he was fine in there and didn't get upset at all.  But, when I showed back up he was pretty upset (probably because I had left him) and I would kind of "pay for it" the rest of the day.  The last two times he has actually not wanted me to put him down when I first take him in.  So, I will sit on the floor with him until he gets interested in playing with something.  He is fine when I leave then and all during church.  And doesn't seem upset anymore after I pick him up.  In fact, last Sunday when I came around the corner he could not get to me fast enough and immediately wanted in the carrier.  On my back!  Up until then I had mostly worn him on my front.  But, he kept running around behind me until I slid the carrier around to my back.  Then he smiled a huge smile!

*Oh!  He will now "go in" for high fives!  For the longest time when you asked for a high five he would just hold his hand up and wait for you to slap his hand.  But, just recently he started actually giving them.

I'm sure I could think of more, but I need to get to bed.  Basically to sum it up...I love, love, LOVE my new son.  And every day he feels less and less "new" and more like he's always been with us.