Zoo day!

It was starting to feel like forever since my boy and I had taken off for an all day adventure.  It's been very hot here lately.  So, with a forecast that finally looked tolerable, we headed to the zoo today! 

We both had such a fun time!  Excited for many more adventures this summer.

I'm in a serious relationship

In the past, I've done nothing more than dabble in running.  Occasionally taking it up to "get in shape" or lose a couple pounds.  Running and I, we had our flings, but I never let things get too serious.  That is until this winter.  I decided to run a half marathon.  "Self, what are you thinking?  A half marathon?!?  13.1 miles.  That's crazy talk.  You've never run more than 4 miles at a time in your life!  You're not a runner."  It was true.  I wasn't a runner.  But, that didn't mean I couldn't become one, right? 

I took up the challenge, found a training plan online and got going.  I did one long run a week, tacking another mile onto the distance each time.  My Saturdays became cause for celebration as I would go to bed thinking, "Wow!  That's the farthest I've ever run!"  But, in my head, I still wasn't calling myself a runner.  I felt the same way last Sunday when I showed up for my race and surveyed all the "serious runners" with their hydration belts and compression socks.  If one of them would've said something like, "So, you're a runner too.?"  I probably would have replied with a shrug and an "Oh, not really." 

And then the race started.  And I ran.  I ran well actually.  As my mileage grew, so did my confidence.  "You really can do this."  Not that there should've been much doubt, I had run 12 miles just a couple of weeks before.  But, there was something about running this race that I had trained for.  Something about running alongside (and passing) women that had intimidated me at the starting line.  Something about having strangers cheer you on without regard for your chosen race attire or current pace.  It all came together to finally convince my stubborn self, that "Yes, self, you are a runner." 

Because running is not about how fast or far you run (or even how you look doing it).  Running is simply putting one foot in front of the other.  My husband has been saying it to me for months, "If you run, then you are a runner."  You're right babe.  Thanks for believing in me way before I did.

Now that I've paid him a compliment, I can tell you how absolutely horrid my husband is at taking pictures!  It's like he has too much pride to actually look at what he's taking a picture of.  He just holds the camera up in the air, points it in the general direction of his subject, and gives no warning whatsoever before he starts clicking away.  On that note, enjoy my race photos!!!  (The few that are actually in focus and don't have me looking like a complete goon)

A little pre-race prep talk!

Waiting to get started.

We wound our way through the parking lot for awhile before getting out onto the street.  Hubby and C had time to see me off at the start and then get to this spot to watch me pass.  C was so excited to see me.  I moved over to the edge of the street and he ran along the sidewalk.  He had the best time being able to race with me for a little while.  It was too cute.

Here's my big finish. :)  I had a little something left and actually passed 5 or 6 gals in that last quarter mile.

When I saw C and hubby cheering me on I threw my arms up in victory and had the biggest smile on my face.  And this is the shot hubs caught on camera.  I wish I could make it bigger so you could truly appreciate the awesomeness.

He ran to catch up with me and was so happy.  I think the whole race atmosphere must have had him really excited.  I never get hugs like that when I climb off the treadmill. ;)

Post race frozen yogurt.

Well, running, I think we just might make it work this time around.

*Official Results: Time 2:12:09, Overall 426th of 1,027, Female 357th of 914,  F25-29 78th of 182

The white faced tiger

Also known as what can happen when you grant a request for "a little bit of that powder to play in with my bulldozer" and then get distracted on the phone with your sister.

It begins!

I just waved goodbye to my boys as they headed off for their first camping trip of the summer.  I love that these two are getting some father/son time.  My husband is such a good daddy.  I'm so glad he takes the time to do special things with C...and I'm glad C enjoys the outdoors as much as hubby does!  (Really takes the pressure off of me)  And I adore that he is giving C such precious childhood memories.

I'm gonna miss my boys!  But, I'm sure I'll manage to find something (or rather nothing!) to do. 

Why the wait?

We knew going into our adoption process that our wait from referral to travel could be up to 11 months.  We were informed recently that we now have a 14 month wait from the time our acceptance paperwork was received in Korea until we are allowed to bring our lil' peanut home.  Which puts us travelling some time in late April/early May of 2012.  I know most of you know the reason for this is "the quota system" in Korea.  Which I have tried to explain on numerous occassions.  I found a blog post the other day that does a much better job of explaining the situation than I've ever done.  It was written by a mother who adopted a little girl from Korea in 2009.  So, if you want to know "what the heck is the hold up and why can't they just bring that sweet baby home now?!?"  Then read on.

Here's what's happening with Korean adoption right now. Over the past several years international adoption has become a bigger and bigger issue in Korea. The Korean people (rightfully so) are not happy that so many of their children are being adopted overseas. I can totally understand that. As much as I love Clarissa and I'm so glad that she's a part of our family, I do agree that a Korean adoption in their own country would be the best thing for those orphaned children. Korea is not a poor third world country. They're a very self sufficiant wealthy country full of strong families who could provide for orphaned children.

The problem is that Koreans place a lot of value on their bloodlines and raising a child that doesn't carry on their bloodline is considered shameful. Adoption is not widely accepted in Korea. I have read articles where they talk about couples adopting in secret, women wearing fake pregnant stomachs so that no one would know they adopted, one man telling his family that their adopted child was the product of his affair because an affair is less shameful than an adoption, etc. If it is known that a child is adopted in Korea they usually live difficult lives. It can be harder for them to marry, to find a good job...so many times it is kept a secret from them and from everyone else.

The other problem is that single mothers who choose to keep their babies receive absolutely no help from the government. It's not socially acceptable to be a single mother in Korea so if they decide to do it they're on their own. Without government assistance most single women feel that they have no choice but to place their babies for adoption.

So due to the fact that there are an abundance of babies placed for adoption and the fact that few in Korea will adopt them, the government has no choice but to send them overseas. Korea has one of the oldest and most respected international adoption programs in the world. One of the reason we chose to adopt from Korea is because their adoption program runs so smoothly and for us it did go smoothly. From start to finish our experience with Korean adoption was wonderful.

But in recent years the Korean government is getting more and more flak from the Korean people about their international adoption program. Many in Korea are calling for an end to it completely. Honestly, I would love to hear that the attitude towards adoption in Korea had changed so much that international adoption was no longer necessary. Change is happening in Korea but it's been slow. The Korean government has programs in place to encourage adoption and they're working hard to make adoption more accepted and less shameful and it's working. The number of domestic adoptions in Korea is rising every year.
 Unfortunately it's not rising fast enough and the government is feeling a lot of pressure to do something about their overseas adoption program. Their solution has been to introduce the dreaded quota. People adopting from Korea right now fear the quota, and for good reason.

In order for the Korean government to show their people that they are sending less and less children overseas, they came up with an Emigration Permit quota for adoptees in 2007. Children leaving Korea to be adopted overseas have to be issued an Emigration Permit (EP) to leave the country. The Korean governments big idea was to grant 10% fewer EP's every year starting in 2007. They only allow so many children to leave the country every year to be adopted overseas and once that quota has been met the remaining children have to wait until the next year to be issued their EP. That looks great for their numbers. Now whenever there is an report on Korea's international adoption program the government can pull out their numbers and show everyone that there are fewer and fewer children being adopted overseas every year. Well, yes, technically it's true. Fewer children are being sent overseas every year but that's only because the children that don't make their numbers look pretty are waiting until the next year to leave.

The first few years it worked fine enough. Clarissa's EP was issued in July of 2009 with no problem. The EP quota wasn't really even on my radar of things to worry about. The available EP's are divided among the international adoption agencies. We worked with the biggest agency in Korea, which gets the most EP's allotted to them. The smaller agencies are allowed fewer EP's. For a while the EP quota seemed like kind of a myth. Something terrible you heard about but never actually saw.

But pretty soon the cracks in the EP quota plan started to show. The smaller agencies started to run out of EP's before the end of the year. At first it was close enough to the end of the year that it wasn't really a problem and the delays were slight, but it got worse and worse and eventually there was a huge backlog. What used to be a 3-5 month wait after referral to complete the paperwork and bring a child home became a six month wait. And then an 8 month wait. And then the backlog was so big that when the new EP's were issued starting in January they had to use the majority of them up just to clear up the backlog from the year before.

Last year the second largest adoption agency in Korea ran out of EP's in April. This year? They're now officially backed up an entire year. They're reporting that anyone who received a referral through that agency after December of 2010 will not be issued an EP until sometime after the new year in 2012. That means that people will be given the photo and info of their beautiful baby and then they will wait 12-14 months before they can actually go bring that baby, who will no longer BE a baby, home for no other reason than the fact that the Korean government refuses to grant them the permit that would allow them to leave the country. Babies are not referred for international adoption until they're at least 5 months old. If they're matched with a family at 5 months and they have a minimum 12 month wait to come home, that means that the child will be 17 months old at the very earliest before they can finally join their family. In the meantime they spend those 17+ months old in foster care, bonding with a family they will have to be seperated from.

That is absolutely unacceptable. This doesn't personally affect our adoption, of course, because our daughter came home a long time ago. But it makes me angry for all those families who are waiting month after month for their child to join their family. It makes me angry for those babies who will have to go through the trauma of being seperated from their foster families after so much time. It makes me angry for the wonderful foster parents who will grow that much more attached to the babies they eventually have to pass on to their families. Seperating Clarissa from her foster parents was one of the most difficult moments of my life and Clarissa was only 8 months old. I can't even imagine trying to do the same thing with an 18 month old.

Something has got to change. The Korean government has got to put a stop to the EP quota. In an effort to make their numbers look pretty they're making the situation much worse for the children and the Korean people really have no idea this is going on. It's time for them to stop trying to save face and start working in the best interest of the children. More Koreans are adopting every year and in time the numbers will get better on their own. I truly believe that there will eventually be no need for an international adoption program in Korea and that will be a wonderful thing, but it needs to happen naturally, not because the Korean government forced the numbers.

Truthfully I don't really know what I can do about it, other than rant about it on my blog. The Korean government certainly doesn't care what I think of their EP quota. But I think people need to know what's going on. I think the Korean people especially need to know what's going on. Orphaned children need homes and if there are homes available to them they need to be placed in those homes ASAP. There's no time to discuss whether those homes should be in Korea or overseas when there are actual children waiting for families.

I pray for those children waiting for families and for the wonderful people waiting to adopt them. I hope that the Korean government recognizes the problem and works to correct it and those children can join their forever families soon. Something has got to change.

My husband is a schemer

"So, I was thinking tomorrow we should get up and drive to New Jersey and go to Carlo's Bakery." 

"Seriously?!?" 

"Yeah.  We can get there late morning, and then there's an aquarium on the way back home that looks really cool." 

"Let's do it!" 

"Great and we'll just mumblemumblemumblerrrr after that." 

"Wait, what did you say?" 

"I just said that after I take you to Carlo's Bakery to get your yummy treats, and after I take C to that awesome aquarium where he can pet the sharks we can stopbythisguy'shouseandpickupacanoeifoundoncraigslist." 

"Can't talk...drooling over pictures on bakery website..."

Schemer, I tell ya.

My mom was insanely jealous. ;)  And if any of the six or so of you that read my blog also love the show The Cake Boss, you can join her.

Hubby putting the finishing touches on our order.

Look!  It's the loud-mouthed blonde sister, Mary!  She was actually very nice to the patrons.  But, I heard her ripping into some of the staff...just like on the show!!!

Oh, yes.  Not even out of the parking lot yet.  That was my red velvet cupcake.  Incredible.
Cannoli

Lobster tails

My favorite?  It was a toss up between the cupcake and the brownie, both of which totally stole my heart. :)

I was still swooning over Carlo's when we made it to the aquarium.  Then it was C's turn to be thrilled.  The touch-a-shark exhibit!

 "Mom!  I never touched a shark before!!!"

 "Show me your scary sea snake face."

 Oh, hubs has a scary sea snake face too.  Nice.

We spent the majority of our time at the touch-a-shark tank.  C could've stayed there forever.  But, hubby decided he'd had enough and told me he was going to step outside.  "What for?"  "Because.  It's a nice day.  You can see the water.  Because I want to."

 Because he wants to get himself an ice cream treat is more like it.  Busted!

 Petting the stingrays.

It was a good day.  We all came home with new memories.  And yes, hubby came home with his canoe too.