Conquering the hill

I don't know if you heard him, but the first thing he said after that was "Can we do that again?!"  We did.  And this time I made the mistake of using my hands to keep us from plowing into the house at the bottom of the hill.  Ouch.  It hurt worse than it looked. ;)  I should mention that we were not dealing with fine, powdery snow.  It's pretty much packed ice.

Then it was Daddy's turn.  They had a pretty tame ride...or maybe I'm just dramatic.

:)

One year waiting...

One year ago today we received our referral.  One year ago, I listened, giddy with excitement, as our social worker told me about this little four and a half month old baby boy.  One year ago, I thought I would burst waiting for hubby to call me so I could share the news.  One year ago, on separate sides of the country, hubby and I shared our first look at our son via webcam.  One year ago, I marveled at a tiny, precious face and crazy hair.  One year ago, I became a mother once again.  One year ago, I fell in love.

Today, I'm still in love.  But, if I'm being completely honest, I'm in love with an idea.  I loved C from the moment I discovered I was pregnant.  And then when I saw him for the first time, I was blown away by how much more I loved him.  And the first time I held him, my love grew even more.  The first time I saw him smile.  The first time I heard him laugh.  The first time I left him in the care of someone else.  The first time he reached for me.  The first time he fell and hurt himself.  The first time he snuck from his bed to mine in the middle of the night.  The first time he said "I love you."  The first time he told a joke.  Each time, my love grew.  And it's not just the firsts...it's every little moment that makes me pause and catch my breath because I didn't think it was possible to love him more.  The more I know him, the more I love him.  That's it, isn't it?  You cannot fully love a person until you fully know them.  That's why my love keeps growing, because there's always something new to learn about that boy. 

And I don't know my lil' peanut.  That time spent together, those simple, every day moments that forge a bond of love and trust between a mother and child...we haven't had any.  It's been a year of dreaming and wondering and imagining what he might be like.  But, I don't know him.  And I'm going to be realistic with my expectations now so I don't beat myself up about it later.  I am not expecting love at first sight.  It's very easy to acknowledge that's how it will be from his point of view.  But, I think there's a certain expectation (whether put in place by myself or others, I don't know) that I will fall in love the moment I meet him.  And I will, I'm sure.  Love him.  But, that "I am yours, you are mine, forever and always" kind of love.  That doesn't happen in an instant.  It takes time.  I think it will begin to grow in the midnight hours as I sit up with a child who is scared and confused and grieving.  It will deepen as I change his diapers, discover his favorite foods, and act like an idiot to earn those first belly laughs.  Love will blossom when I'm on my knees praying over his little life.  I am giving myself permission to give it time. 

Baby, my arms are aching to hold you.  And my heart is aching to fall in love with you.  Please Lord, let our time together start soon.

Time well spent

We are a one car family.  It's fairly new still, it's been about a month.  I had yet to feel inconvenienced by it.  Hubby works very close to home, so it's no big deal to just drop him off in the morning and pick him up at night.  This weekend was our first experience with battle assembly as a one car family.  And, it was a little inconvenient.  Due to the fact that he had to be in super early.  Earlier than even our little alarm clock rises.  I have been abiding by the "never wake a sleeping baby" rule since C was, well, a baby. ;)  So, in lue of having a little grumpy pants on my hands all day, I chose to give up my rights to the car.  I didn't like the feeling of being stranded at the house for the entire day.  But, it turned out to be really wonderful.  I got caught up on laundry and did a few other chores around the house...but I spent a lot of very intentional time just being with my kid.  Monster truck shows, race cars, pet store, zoo, Toy Story, playdoh, campout, tickle fests, story time...and my favorite moment of the weekend...watching Food Network Cake Challenge together.  There are a few kids movies that I really like and actually don't mind watching again for the 17th time (Tangled, Bug's Life, Nemo) but it's pretty rare to find something appropriate for C that I find just as engaging.  And you can imagine how thrilled I was when he asked after the show if we could have our own cake challenge...

I don't know how it happened, but a different Toy Story character took credit for all of my masterpieces.  And I don't really think it was fair that Woody got to be the judge when he made one of the cakes. 

This weekend made me happy.  And I know it made C happy too.  I need to do more of this.  Put everything else on the backburner and just be with him.  That little guy is so precious and so worth my time.

Dressed by Daddy

This is how C looked after I told hubby to put a clean shirt on him for bedtime.

Haha!  He pointed out that all I said was clean shirt, not clean shirt that fits.  They had fun raiding peanut's side of the closet.  Those skin tight capris used to be long pj pants.   

This reminded me how big my boy is getting!  And how tiny my baby is still going to be when we bring him home.  :)

16 Months

After our last update on lil' peanut, we sent him another care package hoping he would receive it at his next check up.  Here's what I picked out for our little guy...

I actually managed to squeeze two containers of puffs into our gallon size bag.  Isn't that tiger hat adorable?  Wouldn't you love to see how it looks on our lil' peanut? 

Adorable!  I seriously need to cover those chubby cheeks with kisses...SOON!!!



And we're done with the hat. :)

Our baby is now 16 months old, 30.1 inches tall, and weighing in at 23.8 pounds.  It's the new year and the quota for visas has been reset.  We are just waiting for his paperwork to be processed by the ministry of health and welfare over in Korea.  We will be notified when his paperwork is submitted.  It can take 3-8 weeks to be processed.  After that, he would need to get an exit physical exam done and we would need to sign some final visa related paperwork, and then we would get our travel call.  I say would because guess what?!?  He's already had his physical done and that piece of paperwork has been signed/sealed/delivered.  So, my understanding is that we will get a phone call (which I am very, VERY anxiously awaiting) when his paperwork gets to the ministry and once it's finished it will be TRAVEL TIME!  Our 2nd phone call will be our TRAVEL CALL!!!  Can you tell I'm a little bit excited? ;) 

Look who's...

...coming to Korea!!!

Love!

Sleepyhead!

Our trip to Memphis really wore us out!  Lots of staying up late and getting up early (thanks to our little early bird)  As a true testament to how exhausted we all were, the morning of our flight back home C stirred as hubby and I were getting ready and then plopped down and went back to sleep.  We waited as long as we could until we needed to get him up and dressed and as I was rubbing his back trying to coax him out of dream land he groaned, "Just five more minutes."  For the first time EVER, the child asked for more sleep.  I have been doing that since childhood...I love my sleep.  But, this kid has even asked God why he created night time because "I hate going to bed!  I want to stay up forever."  His eyes were pretty heavy on the first flight, but he wanted to stay awake and watch a movie.  He surrendered on flight #2, sleeping through landing and the hustle and bustle of everyone getting off the plane.  And thanks to our abandoned smart carte spotting, he was able to catch up on his zzzz's all the way until we put him in the car, when he finally woke up for good.

Yes, he really is asleep in these pictures!  

Memphis: Day Three

On our last day, we decided to have an adventure on the trolley.  The kids loved it.  And we ended up finding a cute little cafe for breakfast before getting back on the trolley for our hotel.

After our trolley ride, we went to dinner at the well known Rendezvous for some yummy bbq.  Then it was time to get all gussied up for the big event, Clint's cousin's wedding.

Daddy helped C find a special hideout during the reception. :)

Where he could RUN!

We hung in there as long as we could, but decided to call it a night around 10.  We walked back to the hotel and got C a little box of oreos (he was super bummed we didn't have cake!  So was I, but we were tired)  After dessert, we climbed in bed and rang in the new year fast asleep!

Memphis: Day Two

The morning of our second day, hubby headed off for a round of paintball with the groom (his cousin) and the rest of the men.  Instead of sitting around the hotel waiting for him to get back, I had him drop C and I off at the children's museum.  We had a really good time!  So good that when I told C it was time to head outside so Daddy could pick us up he looked up at me and asked, "Oh, now are we going to do something fun?"  This kid!

We found South Korea on the map and looked at how far it is from D.C. (where I'm pointing!)

They had some extra activities going on for their new year's celebration.  Here is C getting ready to participate in the snowball challenge.

Pinata loot!

 Showing me some of his dance moves.  They're awesome.  I think he gets them from his Dad. ;)

This one for sure.  Haha!

Four hours of fun later we were glad to have Daddy pick us up and head out to lunch.  Only in the south can you get a "vegetable plate" that looks like this.  Yum!



That night we went to the Elvis Car Museum for the rehearsal dinner.  It was a neat venue and C enjoyed walking around looking at all the cars.

No night is complete without a little dancing.