Before and After

Braved our first haircut yesterday.  We finally settled for the barbershop on post after driving by two other places I had thought about going that were closed on Sundays.  They do a good job with C's hair, but it's a pretty straightforward military cut.  Wasn't sure what they would do with all that hair on my baby's head!  And I wasn't sure how much practice they had in cutting the hair of toddlers.  There was nothing to worry about.  The guy did a decent job...and lil' peanut was a total rock star.  He sat in my lap like a champ.  He didn't even try to eat the lollipop I gave him to try to keep him happy/distracted.  He kept it hidden under the tarp and sat totally still until I sat him down at the end.  Then he devoured that lollipop. :)  C was also a great sport.  I let him take his leapster in and he was making friends right and left.  He convinced every man waiting for a haircut to either watch him play his game or play it themselves!  When one person's number was called for their haircut C would look around for someone else to chat with.  Such a social butterfly that boy is!

Morning at the Playground

One month home!

We have definitely had a much easier transition than I anticipated.  But, I kept thinking it was all too good to be true.  I will say that I still think things are going way better than they could be, but this past week has been a tough one.  I broke my ankle now over 2 months ago and it is still giving me trouble.  More trouble than the ortho doc thinks is normal with a normal fracture.  So, after my follow-up appointment with him last week (I took lil' peanut with me) he said he wanted to get an MRI.  Well, that's obviously not the kind of appointment you can bring your toddler along to.  My folks were going to be back in town and were able to stay through Monday so I decided to get the dumb thing done while they would be here to watch the boys.  I knew it was too soon to be leaving my new son with anyone.  But, I honestly don't really have anyone else that I would feel comfortable leaving them both with...even a month or so down the road (at least not anyone that is available during the day)  It was early, too early, but who do you trust more than your own parents? 

He was fine while they were at our place.  My mom said he went and stood by the door a few times, but other than that he played happily.  I was gone for about two hours and when I got home I came around the corner and he was sitting on the couch.  "Hey buddy!"  I got the slightest hint of a smile and then all hell broke loose.  Ok, not that bad, but bad.  He cried and cried.  He screamed at me, didn't want me to touch him or talk to him, hit and spit.  It was just awful.  I won't even go into the guilt I had (still have) over it because I made the decision and it's over and I'm just trying to move forward from here. 

Anyway, things have been rough.  We had planned to go to lunch with my folks when I got home that day, but that obviously wasn't happening.  They graciously offered to take C out.  I did get lil' peanut down for a nap but when he woke up it was more of the same.  That behavior continued until we went to C's swim lesson that evening where the distraction of a new place provided a reprieve.  Things have gradually improved over the past few days.  The hitting and spitting have disappeared but he is still screaming some.  After his nap yesterday he woke up crying.  He calmed down when I went in and got him from his crib but would have nothing to do with being put down.  He would become hysterical if I even leaned over like I was going to set him down.  I have pulled out of some things and tried to keep his world as small as possible this week.  I told hubby that I just felt sick over the thought that all the work we had done toward attaching was thrown out the window in that two hours that I was gone.  He told me (and I know he was just trying to be nice) that I had to leave him at some point and how do I know that the same thing wouldn't have happened months from now?  I don't know that.  And part of me does think that this was all brewing under the surface anyway.  (a very small part of me that doesn't think I royally screwed up!)  This little guy has been so brave and soooo easy going it's been a little hard to believe.  I think that he may finally be letting himself truly grieve.  Up until now he hadn't shown any negative feelings toward me at all.  Hello?!  I took him away from his umma and his family and his life.  Shouldn't he be a little pissed off?  He certainly has the right to be.  And I'm sure he is scared.  The last time he waved goodbye to his umma was the. last. time.  I'm your mama forever baby.  I'm sorry that I left you, but what hubby said was "Now he knows that you'll always come back."  I don't plan to leave him for a good, long while...but maybe this is something that will happen any time I am gone for awhile.  And that's ok.  There's no amount of work I won't do to earn your trust buddy. 

Today was actually a very good day.  For both boys, I think.  The sibling dynamic continues to be a tricky one.  That first week lil' peanut was super tolerant and didn't put up a fuss about anything C did.  Well, he's sick and tired of being treated like a toy (I'm sick of that for him!) and he's starting to fight back.  C gets all up in his face, he hits C, C retaliates...and repeat.  ;)  When they are having fun together they have so much fun together.  And it is just so heartwarming!  But, other times their relationship is a work in progress. 

One funny story about this.  Last week I busted out our old pac-n-play and set it up in the corner of the living room.  C was immediately curious, "What's that for?"  "Well, this is where your brother is going to go after he hits you."  (I want to discourage the hitting but we're still trying to bond so I was trying to think of something that would be a consequence without isolating the kiddo)  "I want to get in it!"  Ok then.  "Oh, if you hit him you do have to go in there."  So, he immediately runs over to lil' peanut and starts provoking him.  Oh, awesome.  He actually does want to get in it.  And he wasn't the only one.  This little guy thought it was hilarious.  He would just laugh when I sat him down in it and when I got him back out he would run straight over to C and hit him then turn to me with a big ol' smile on his face like "Are you gonna put me back in there again?  Yay!"  Mommy fail. ;)

While he is starting to stick up for himself, he still tolerates an incredible amount of pestering/love (there is lots of love too!) from his big brother.  I told my mom, "How could you not spoil me?  How could anyone not spoil their youngest child.  Look what they go through!"  :)  He really does adore C.  He is a later riser than his big brother so when I bring him downstairs I will lean him over the stairwell so he can see C downstairs and his face just lights up.

He has gotten a bit pickier at the table.  But, I do think that is due, in part, to our setback on Monday.  A few times I have sat him in his seat and gone to give him a bite and he will scream at me and refuse to eat and try to get down.  So, I'll give him a minute and then try again and he scarfs it down.  Yogurt is a huge favorite and he eats it every day.  I haven't found a flavor he doesn't like yet.  He also loves his fruit-peaches, pears, strawberries, grapes and apples.  But applesauce makes him gag.  I found this out trying to firm up his stool last week.  He had a bad case of um, the rumbly tummy?  The second day in I was pretty sure it was the whole milk in his bottles at nap and bedtime.  His reports said that he did drink milk but I'm pretty sure I didn't make a gradual enough switch.  So, I switched to a sensitive formula for his bottles and cut out his fruit for a few days and problem solved.

He went on his first bike ride (in the trailer) a few days ago.  With C riding without training wheels now I can't keep up with him just walking.  So, we've gone on a few family bike rides.  He doesn't seem to mind riding in the trailer (or wearing a helmet) he just sits back there and chills.  He really is my easy going baby.

I have finally mastered the tear-free method of washing his hair.  Yay! 

He started saying "hi" today.  So, he's got two english words under his belt now.

He continues to ask me what everything is.  I feel super inadequate when he's looking at me like "Come on lady show me the sign so I can communicate with you!"  Ha!  I don't know the sign for everything. :)  He is picking up signs so fast.  He now signs for help, more, drink, eat, nigh-night, train, ball, music, car, bird, cat, fan, light, brush teeth, bath time, all gone, down, gentle (he looks at me and does this one after he hits C.  Every time) ;) hear (he does this every time he hears an airplane.  We live close to the airport so they fly over a lot.  And he always hears them.  Good hearing this child has.) and he also signs for diaper change.  He had only repeated this one after me but today I was loading the dishwasher and he walked up to me and signed "diaper change" and sure enough he had filled his britches.  Maybe potty training this one will be a breeze?  (one can hope) :)  C had me look up the signs for "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" today.  To be used in the communication between the two of them I'm sure. ;)  I also want to start showing him "stop" and "I don't like it."  The greater challenge will probably be making sure C responds to them so lil' peanut doesn't have to resort to throwing punches.

He loves laying on the floor and pushing the trains and cars around.  He also loves to climb onto the window sill and play gah-koo (peekaboo-one of his Korean words) with the curtains.  He also enjoys his big brother and car rides and making silly faces.  His bottle, food, snuggling when he first wakes up in the morning, bath time, slides, being tossed in the air, being tickled and being chased.

Can't believe we are one month home already.  I used to drip with jealousy reading one month home posts while we waited.  I think of all the waiting mamas often.  I know their pain and my heart goes out to them.  One day it will be your turn.  And you will marvel at how you ever made it through that wait and at the fact that your baby is finally home and yours forever.  And it will be amazing.  Promise.

Swimming-take 5?

We are now on what I think is our 5th round of swimming lessons.  Our very first was in Mississippi at an awesome swim school when C was only 2.  Had we never moved I fully believe he would be swimming like a little fish by now.  We did move though, and every experience we've had with swimming since then has been sub par.  Some downright awful.  C has been out of lessons for goodness, maybe coming up on two years now?  I can't remember.  He took classes when we first moved out here and they just didn't go well.  He started to really fear the water and it just wasn't worth the stress for either of us!  A couple of months ago he expressed some interest in returning to swimming lessons.  Yay!  I signed him up (at a new place) for their last summer session.  It started this past Monday and he goes Mondays and Wednesday until mid-August.  On our way there he asked if everyone was going to remember him as the kid who cried the whole time.  Ha!  That made me laugh.  I told him it was a totally new place with a new teacher and new friends to meet and that he was going to do awesome this time.  Little did I know he actually would!  He's only had two classes, so it's still a little early.  But, class #2 had them going under water and he has done so great. 

The pool we're going to has a little water park area that he desperately wanted to play in our first night, but turns out they close it before his class gets done.  So, Wednesday I told him we would go a little early so he could play on the slide before his lesson.  He loved it!  It was such a simple thing to get there 15 minutes early and it made him so happy.  We will probably continue this.

Here are the pictures I was able to get during his lesson. 

The class is the very beginning level for 3-5 year olds.  I was worried he would be so much older than everyone and not like being in a "baby" class.  But they mostly seem to be on the older end and his teacher is a boy, so he's not actually the only one in the class. :)

He caught me taking pictures and gave me a little wave. :)

That's him dunking his face in!

He wanted his picture taken with the random Captain America cutout at the pool.  It's fitting for my new little super swimmer! 

Almost forgot to show you what lil' peanut does during all of this.  

Don't be fooled!  The stroller lasts for the first five minutes.  After that he wants out.  So far he is pretty content to just wander around the edge of the pool holding my hand.  The holding of the hand is essential because he would love to walk right into that water.  The other day I took his shoes off and let him splash around a little bit on the zero level entry side of the pool.  We also discovered the little back patio last time so we went outside a few times and he got to see some airplanes.

Fire breathing dragons and first words

My parents decided to come back our way for a little getaway in the middle of their giant getaway.  They came to my place a few days before I left for Korea and have been at my sister's since we got home.  My new nephew decided to make a late appearance. ;)  But, he's here now and they have been helping out at my sister's.  Anyway, I didn't tell C they were coming back to see us one more time.  When they rang the doorbell I told him it must be someone from the church bringing us dinner again.  He was surprised...and pretty happy!  We hung out together yesterday afternoon and all went to dinner.  Then today I sent my little man off on a fun adventure with Papa.  I got them tickets to see the How to Train your Dragon Live show in D.C.  We had seen an advertisement for the show a long time ago and C really wanted to go.  Seeing as how it was only playing in foreign countries we told him it was a no-go.  Last week I saw a poster for the show in our Walmart!  I got online and sure enough the U.S. tour was coming to D.C.  The timing just worked out perfectly for these two to go this weekend.

Show me your dragon faces...haha!

They had a fun time at the show.  It sounds like it was really neat.  You know what else was neat?  Getting to spend all day with this little cutie. :)  (And taking a nap.  That was pretty neat too.)

Lil' peanut said his first word in English today!  He jabbers a lot so I actually almost missed it when it happened.  We were eating lunch at the counter and he dropped (aka threw) his plate on the floor!  :)While I was leaning over picking it up he was talking away.  Then I stopped and said, "Did you just say uh-oh?!"  :)  He had said it!  And he said it over and over again the rest of the day.  It was super cute.  And pretty funny when said after one of his little toots or burps.  He gets this surprised look on his face after that happens anyway and now for him to say uh-oh afterwards.  It's so funny!

I'm so glad C got to have a fun day with his Papa.  With being the only parent at home, it's been hard not being able to give him much one-on-one time, especially when I can see that he so desperately needs it during this transition time.  So, even though I wasn't the one to go with him, I was so happy for his sake that he was able to go!  And it was really fun to have a day to just focus all my attention on my new little man. 

Sleeping baby

I take him in the bedroom and tell him it's time for bed.  He signs "night-night" and grins.  I lay him down and he drinks his bottle while I sit on the floor next to the crib, my hand on his tummy.  He hands me his bottle when he's finished.  I lay on the floor reading, looking up often to see his fat little foot sticking between the bars.  And I break into the biggest grin.  That is his little foot.  Right there in front of me!  It takes a lot of restraint to keep from tickling those tiny toes when he pokes his foot out of the crib.  He peeks his head over the bumper pad to make sure I'm still there and he smiles.  He rolls around, talks to himself and giggles until he finally gives in to sleep.  We have been home three weeks now.  I can hardly believe that just a month ago I was still waiting.  That crib sat empty, collecting dust.  And tonight it holds this sweet, precious child.  My child.  I kiss those soft, chubby cheeks countless times a day.  And I am overwhelmed that I can.  The wonder of having him home has not even begun to wear off.



:)

To the Zoo!

Since hubby left we have been laying pretty low.  C was a bit under the weather for a few days and I think we were all starting to get a little cabin fever.  I checked weather.com and today was set to be the coolest day of our hot week!  So, I decided it was a good day for me and the boys to take our first trip to the zoo. 

First stop is always the playground...well right after the prarie dogs. :)



The lack of my photography skills is really becoming apparent trying to capture two kiddos!  At least they are both smiling. :)

Aww, sad owl.

I was not about to let lil' peanut take off on these by himself.  I took him across once and even holding my hand he just about stepped right off into the water.  Now that would have been fun. ;)

Giving the tree slide a try with a little help from big brother.

Brave enough to go all by himself!

Haha!  How telling is this of how all babies of the family feel.  Makes me laugh.

Giving those roosters the stink eye.  The roosters were tolerated, but I did push him a little too close to the cow.

Riding the train.  C chose a seat for peanut and I.  And a seat for himself.  Oh, my little mr. independent.

He preferred to sit like a big boy instead of on my lap, but he kept his little hand on my leg the whole time.  So sweet.

Whew!  Last stop chimpanzees.  Sweaty and tired and ready to head home!  Both boys crashed on the way home.  Two sleeping babies in the back of the car.  Precious.  And seriously, why are there no drive-thru Starbucks around here?!?