Happy, HAPPY 18 months!!!

The past 3 months we have gotten super consistent updates on our little man!  Huge shout out to our agency here in the states and the one in Korea and, of course, lil' peanut's foster mom!  She gets him in there for his check-up right on the 29th of each month.  Since Korea is a whole day ahead of us, just when I'm feeling sad that he has turned another month older and is still not home I am given just what I need to be reminded why I am waiting.  I was trying not to get my hopes up that I would find a big dose of happiness in my inbox today...but I did!  And boy did it deliver on the happiness factor!!!

Look at my big boy standing there like the toddler that he is!  Just hanging out, drinking his milk.

Somebody got his bangs trimmed. ;) 

And is that a tiny little back pack he is wearing?!?  Oh, I die from the cuteness!

He's grown just a little bit over the last month.  24.9 pounds and 31.1 inches.  And he's been busy cutting teeth...a total of 6 new teeth over the past month!  (Oh, his poor foster mama!) ;)  He now has 8 teeth on top and 6 on the bottom.  

The Lord knew I needed this to tide me over.  The latest news/rumors say that the ministry will begin accepting EP requests some time next week.  If this turns out to be true, and if our boy's paperwork makes it into that first batch, and if the ministry is swift (super swift) in processing the requests...maybe there is still a chance that he will come home before hubby deploys.  It's a very, very small chance...but I'm not going to put God in a box on this one.  Until hubby is gone I will keep sending up prayers that our sweet boy will make it home in time to meet his Daddy!

Will you pray?

It's not a nursery...it's a nook!

Our third bedroom is currently being used as a playroom.  I decided that since all the boys do in their bedrooms is sleep that I'd rather just keep the playroom for them both to use instead of turn it into a nursery.  I also didn't want the arrival of C's new brother to coincide with the loss of his playroom.  No need to add extra fuel to the sibling rivalry fire, right?  I want to try co-sleeping and responding quickly to lil' peanut's needs is important in helping him learn that I'm his mama and he can place his trust in me.  So, having him nearby at night time makes sense!  Without further adieu, I present our lil' peanut's nook. ;)

A bit girly?  It's ok if you think so...hubby would agree with you.  But, the nook happens to be in my bedroom, and I'm a girl, so there.  ;)  My mom and I spent a few hours in Joann's looking at patterns and choosing fabric.  And I'm sure my mother-in-law spent more than a few hours sewing it all up!  I found the crib on sale while hubby was away last winter and my dad helped me put it together.  The sweet decals I found for only $10 and I turned a $2 Christmas card holder into a family tree with a can of spray paint and pictures of our loved ones.  A great way for our little boy to learn the names and faces of all his new family members.

When we move into our next place we hope to set the boys up in a room together.  C is already looking forward to getting bunk beds and sleeping on the top.  I hope his brother will be just as excited to share a room.  For now though, I think his little nook will be just perfect!

Cousin Time!

Just posting some fun pictures from our last weekend together with my sister and nephew.

Super hero time!



 We took them to the train museum this time.

Waiting to see the turntable demonstration.  Surprisingly, the boys were pretty into it (it was actually Aunt Net who had enough and said it's time to go) ;)

It was too chilly for the playground the weekend they were here, so we brought out the bouncy house and it was a big hit!

Another fun weekend with family!

putt putt

We have been having the greatest winter!  The weather has been incredibly mild and we really haven't had too many days that were too cold to get outside.  I LOVE that!  My poor winter loving boy has been dying for a big snow though. :(  Maybe we'll get one before spring officially arrives.

In the meantime we have been enjoying meeting friends at the playground down the street, playing in the sandbox, and this weekend...playing putt putt!

Waiting is hard

We are still waiting.  The most recent update from our agency regarding the EP situation states that it's been indicated that the ministry will begin accepting emigration permission submissions shortly, but a timeframe for doing so has not been specified.  They share in our frustration and wish they had more specific timeframes to share with us.  Each new week begins with renewed hope that this will be the week.  And it is more of the same.  More waiting.  I haven't really expressed how I'm feeling about all this...because really, there is nothing I can do about it.  I am helpless to change this situation.  So what will venting about it accomplish?  Nothing.  But, my heart is heavy tonight.  And one day I will maybe want to remember this night.  This feeling.  This pit.  One day I may want to look down from my mountain top and remember what it felt like to be in this valley so low.  I will want to remember so that I do not forget the One who brought me up.

This is so hard. I hate this. I hate it for C.  My kind-hearted little social butterfly who is ready to share his life with a sibling.  A child who when he overhears his parents talking about having 3 maybe 4 kids says things like "I think maybe 9 or 10.  Yep, that'd be good."  Five and a half years old and still waiting for his chance to be a big brother. Asking me questions like, "Mom, will I still be five when William comes home? Or will I be six already?"

 

 

I hate it for my husband. That he probably won't be around to welcome William into our family. That he will miss the opportunity to experience our son's birth country. That he cannot personally express his gratitude to the family that has been raising our child for the past year and a half.  That this huge moment in our lives will not be one that we share.  How hard it is going to be to come home to a two and a half year old who doesn't know him, doesn't trust him, and maybe doesn't want anything to do with him.

 

 

I hate the uncertainty of this. I'm scared. I'm scared of losing this child that we so desperately want. I hate the dark places that thinking about all these unknowns can take my heart. To a place where I want to start doubting God's goodness. Because is there any possible "good" reason for this?? I so want to be able to praise him in the midst of this.  I know in my head every truth about God, but right now my heart, instead of proclaiming the truth, is silent.

 

 

I am just breaking.  And I will tell you.  There is nothing like being completely broken to make you humbly acknowledge your absolute need for a Savior.

So, that's where I'm at right now.  Not the greatest place.  But, I serve the greatest God!  I told our pastor in an email recently we know that God is bigger than all this mess and we are clinging to that.  I will continue to do so.  His word tells me that...weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.  I do believe that we will, in time, see the dawn.

Camping!

The boys got a cabin for the night and I got a couple of redbox movies. :)  C was so excited for their first camping trip of 2012.  I know hubby wants to take him a few times before he deploys since he'll miss the summer.  We are being blessed with some gorgeous weather for mid-February so they are going to have a great time playing outside today.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hubby is TDY so I am spending my night with a bowl of popcorn and the tv remote. :)  At least some body around here had a date.

Grace stopped by with the girls for a bit this afternoon.  When it was time for big sister to head to her dance class, this little cutie decided to stay and play at our house.  I think C really enjoyed the company!

Waterboarding

For the record, it didn't start out as waterboarding.  Hubby started playing a little interrogation game with C a couple of months ago.  Basically he pins C down and asks him questions about his day.  "What did you and Mommy do today?  Did you go anywhere?  What did you eat for lunch?"  And if C takes too long to answer or can't remember then hubby raspberries him.  Yeah, it sounds weird.  It is weird.  I don't get it (like many things those two do together) but C finds it hilarious!  He will ask hubby to "play that game with me where you pin me down and ask me questions."  Well, raspberries are apparentley a torture technique of the past.  Waterboarding is where it's at now.  "Daddy, when we get home I'm gonna waterboard you!  Then you can waterboard me, ok?"  Oh, geez.  Now if that doesn't raise a red flag. ;) 

In previous rounds of waterboarding, hubby has dripped water into C's mouth which he then swallows.  Hubby was expecting the same treatment when it came time for C to ask the questions.  Man I'm glad I had the camera on.

*It's probably worth mentioning that they like their water straight from the fridge.

Care package

Maybe our last?  We sure are hoping!!!

This time I was smart and got duplicate snacks.  One to send and one to have for our plane ride home.  Hopefully he will have tried the ones we sent and the snacks will be slightly familiar to him.  I put in a container of puffs and one of those gerber graduate pouches...they look pretty nifty.  They hadn't come out with those portable little pouches yet when C was a baby.  We went through our stash of toddler toys and C picked to send the dinosaur to his little brother.  He also helped pick out the monster truck shirt at the store and I added some matching pants.

The photo album holds 36 pictures!  It's a little excessive really.  A 36 picture album full of our faces. ;)  We've sent two smaller ones but I wanted to send some pictures now that we are close to bringing peanut home.  Maybe he will recognize us?  C used his new angry bird stickers to make some drawings that I put in some of the slots.

And here it is all stuffed in to our gallon size bag.

I hope it makes it to the agency in Korea before the next time lil' peanut goes in.  And I do hope that the next time I am giving him something I am doing it in person!

Owls and I love you's

I don't think I ever documented the fact that we decided to wait and send C to kindergarten in the fall of 2012.  His birthday is only about a week before the Maryland kindergarten cut off and I had originally planned on delayed entry but decided to give homeschooling a shot this past year anyway.  He was simultaneously going to a preschool program (nature school) two days a week.  Based on how his transition into that program went...plus everything I had read, heard from others, and my just plain "gut" feeling, we went ahead and stopped official kindergarten at home and are letting him have another year as a preschooler.  Well, sadly (or rather not sadly...for those of you who know how it went down we would no longer want him there anyway) C is no longer attending nature school.  He has been fine with it and hasn't even asked about it once since I told him that we wouldn't be going back.  For that I am very thankful!  The whole situation was a big mess and I was afraid the outcome would hurt my little boy's sensitive spirit.  But, he's doing just fine.  Between now and kindergarten I'm making a more conscious effort to have some focused "learning time."  Although, with my kiddo the more work I do to disguise the fact that he's actually learning something, the less it feels like work for him and the more enthusiastic he is.  It's tricky business.  ;)

Here are lots of pictures, plus some bonus videos, of our week of Owls and I love you's.

Gathering "o" items in his backpack during our letter hunt through the house.

Sorting his "o" objects into categories.

 Fingerprint owl project.

We made lots of yummy owl snacks throughout the week.

Another fun snack!

Pinecone owls!

Working on his shapes owl.

Not pictured are all the owl books we read.  We had a ton from the library!  We also read some Valentine's books and talked about the upcoming holiday.  Which he keeps calling Thanksgiving. :)  Here he is with our heart crayons!

 Our final owl snack...

 ...owl pellets! 

 Showing off his Valentine's heart owl and his shapes owl.

And here's a peek at some of the games we played during the week...

Showered with Love!

While back in KS, my mom and sister-in-law hosted a welcome home (soon!) shower for our lil' peanut!  Everything was so nice.  It was such a special time and I was truly blessed by the love and generosity of my family and friends.

I love all the grandkids' pictures on the mantle.  My personal favorites being the 2nd and 4th ones from the left. :)

The lovely table.  The buttercream icing on that cake smelled so good, it took a lot of reserve not to dig into it before my guests arrived.  

Yum!  It tasted as good as it looked (and smelled) :)

I'm so glad we got that surprise update and my mom put out his most recent picture.  Most of the guests at the shower had last seen him at one year.  We used his 1st birthday picture for the shower invitations.  They couldn't believe how much he'd grown!

With the hostesses.

I got a lot of wonderful books, both about Korea and adoption.  I am so excited to have them to share with lil' peanut (and C!)

My mother-in-law graciously agreed to sew a crib bedding set for me.  This diaper stacker was the final piece.  I will have to take a picture of everything and post it.  It's adorable. 

As I was admiring my diaper stacker I was joking with my mom and asking her how the blanket she had planned to make was coming along.  Every time I asked her about it on the phone her response was always "Oh, I've gotta get started on that."  Well, she showed me!  It was the very next thing I opened up!

More great books!  Little Critter's Me and My Little Brother which C has requested many times at bedtime since we got it.  And Jin Woo.  I actually found this at our library awhile back.  A page or two into it C looked up at me with a little smile on his face and said, "Wait a minute...is this book about me?"  ;)  It does mirror our own story rather closely and I was so happy to receive our own copy!

Me and my little man!  He was pretty interested in all those presents and thought maybe he needed to stick around to see what was inside.  A trip to Uncle Jason's house to play video games won him over though.  He was happy to go as long as we promised to save him some cake. :)

A huge thank you to my mom and Debra for putting everything together and hosting such a wonderful shower.  And, of course, thank you to each person who came.  It was a pretty great thing to be surrounded by my loved ones while we all celebrated our baby's life and looked forward to his homecoming together.