The things he says...

After setting down his lunch plate, which included pepperoni
C: I didn't even order that.
Me:  I know, but you need some protein.
C:  Protein?  Protein is poop.

C:  I can't wait 'til I get to hug him.
Me:  I know.  That will be so great when we all get to heaven and can hug Jesus.
C:  I can't do that.  My knees will be all wobbly.

Hubs:  Whoa.
Me:  What?
Hubs:  Nothing.  You're just kind of scary.
Me:  Well, you're sitting in the backseat.  Do you want to drive?
Hubs:  Slow down!
Me:  Seriously, want me to stop the car so you can drive?
Hubs:  I'm just trying to help you out.  The speed limit's like 15 right here.
Me:  Yeah it switches to 15 right here.  One more word and I'm gonna pull over.
C:  Shh Daddy!  Don't say anything.
Hubs:  What buddy?
C:  Quiet!  Don't do it daddy.  Don't say one word.
Hubs:  Why?
C:  Because I don't know what that thing means that she said she's gonna do.

C:  Whew!  That was a lot of poop coming out of me.
Me:  Yeah it was.  It was stinky poop too.
C:  You stink like a little fish.
Me.  Honey
C:  What?
Me:  It's ok to say that something stinks, but when we say that a person stinks it can hurt their feelings.
C:  I'm not talking about you.  I'm talking about a horse I know named Rachel.

C:  Can you stop all that banging around?  It's so loud.  It's distracting me while I'm coloring.
Hubs:  Why don't you appreciate what Mommy is doing for you right now.
C:  I appreciate her cooking my dinner.  I just don't appreciate the noise.
Me:  Well, I'll try to keep it down.
C:  Then I'm not mad at you.

After finding his scissors and numerous opened fruit snack packages strewn about downstairs.
Me:  C, does Mommy ever let you you eat five packages of gummies at a time?
C:  No.
Me:  How many do I let you have?
C:  One.
Me:  So, if I only give you one at a time, why did you think it was ok to eat five packs in a row?
C:  Because I am five.

While enjoying a nice family dinner out at Panera I thought I'd give C an opportunity to share with Daddy some of his new found knowledge.
Me:  C, do you want to tell Daddy about what we learned in science today?  Remember we breathe air in through our...
C:  Nose and mouth.
Me:  And it travels down our...
C:  Testicles!
If that's not proof of the benefits of homeschooling, I don't know what is.  I mean you just can't get an education like that outside the home.  Am I right?  We're only a few weeks into the school year, so this might be a little premature.  But, I'm expecting my teacher of the year award any day now.