Another batch of EP's was submitted today. A friend of mine from our agency was submitted! That makes the first person I actually know personally (rather than just blog stalk) whose paperwork has been submitted. On top of that, travel calls went out for families that were in the first batch. This is good, good news! It's so wonderful that after all the uncertainty surrounding the first couple of months of this year, things are moving and moving quickly at that. And it all means that we are getting closer to bringing our sweet boy home.
I find myself daydreaming a lot about "the moment." We have been anticipating it for so long and we are finally on the home stretch of this wait. It seems a bit surreal that in a matter of months I could be in Korea meeting our lil' peanut. To see him, and touch him, and hold him...I can't imagine what that will be like. Here I am, anxious, excited, giddy really at the thought of being united with our baby. But, as the time inches closer, I know there is a family on the other side of the world that probably instead of anticipation is dreading the moment they will have to say goodbye to a little boy that they have cared for and loved for well over a year.
While I still have some warm and fuzzy thoughts about "the moment" I know that in reality it is going to be hard. Very hard. You just can't get around it. Adoption is built on loss. Our lil' peanut has already experienced the loss of his birth family. And in a short time, he will lose the family that he, I'm sure, believes is his forever. Imagine a toddler that you know personally. Now imagine taking him from everything he has ever known (family, home, food, sounds, smells, etc. etc.) and placing him in the arms of complete strangers. That doesn't sound like a recipe for a happy day. So, as we get closer to that day, my joy is tempered by the sorrow that I know my sweet boy is going to experience.
It probably doesn't help that a new obsession of mine is watching adoption videos on youtube. (I started out trying to find some of the tough ones to show C so that if he is there, he is better prepared for how lil' peanut might react) They are probably doing more good preparing me though. Not that any of you want to watch them, because they are seriously heart wrenching. But, it might be good for those close to us to gain a little more understanding as to what lil' peanut will experience and how tough it might be for our little family in our first moments and even months together. Most of these are adoptions that took place in countries where the children lived in group settings...and even they, with multiple caregivers, are extremely upset. I imagine it would be even worse for a child coming from a home where they were a member of the family. The one I do have from Korea is this one. You can see how much the foster mother loved that sweet girl and how hard it was for her to say goodbye. And there's this one, this one, and lastly this one which has been the hardest one for me to watch of all of them I've seen (I told you it's an obsession. I stay up way too late sitting on the couch crying over videos made by strangers. An intervention might be in order) From the moment they bring her to meet her new family you can just see the fear in her little face.
I find myself daydreaming a lot about "the moment." We have been anticipating it for so long and we are finally on the home stretch of this wait. It seems a bit surreal that in a matter of months I could be in Korea meeting our lil' peanut. To see him, and touch him, and hold him...I can't imagine what that will be like. Here I am, anxious, excited, giddy really at the thought of being united with our baby. But, as the time inches closer, I know there is a family on the other side of the world that probably instead of anticipation is dreading the moment they will have to say goodbye to a little boy that they have cared for and loved for well over a year.
While I still have some warm and fuzzy thoughts about "the moment" I know that in reality it is going to be hard. Very hard. You just can't get around it. Adoption is built on loss. Our lil' peanut has already experienced the loss of his birth family. And in a short time, he will lose the family that he, I'm sure, believes is his forever. Imagine a toddler that you know personally. Now imagine taking him from everything he has ever known (family, home, food, sounds, smells, etc. etc.) and placing him in the arms of complete strangers. That doesn't sound like a recipe for a happy day. So, as we get closer to that day, my joy is tempered by the sorrow that I know my sweet boy is going to experience.
It probably doesn't help that a new obsession of mine is watching adoption videos on youtube. (I started out trying to find some of the tough ones to show C so that if he is there, he is better prepared for how lil' peanut might react) They are probably doing more good preparing me though. Not that any of you want to watch them, because they are seriously heart wrenching. But, it might be good for those close to us to gain a little more understanding as to what lil' peanut will experience and how tough it might be for our little family in our first moments and even months together. Most of these are adoptions that took place in countries where the children lived in group settings...and even they, with multiple caregivers, are extremely upset. I imagine it would be even worse for a child coming from a home where they were a member of the family. The one I do have from Korea is this one. You can see how much the foster mother loved that sweet girl and how hard it was for her to say goodbye. And there's this one, this one, and lastly this one which has been the hardest one for me to watch of all of them I've seen (I told you it's an obsession. I stay up way too late sitting on the couch crying over videos made by strangers. An intervention might be in order) From the moment they bring her to meet her new family you can just see the fear in her little face.
Man, hate to be a debbie downer. It really is good news that things are moving and we are getting close. A little boy is a few months away from joining his forever family and that really should be celebrated. I just can't forget that there is more than just joy and happiness and thanksgiving involved here. There is loss and fear and grief.
It's my prayer that the Lord would begin to prepare our little boy for the changes ahead. And that, in time, He will prove Himself the great healer in our sweet babe's heart.
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