KS-Day 1

Hubby was TDY (in sunny FL of all places!) when we left for KS, so we left the car in long term parking and rode the shuttle bus.  C was so excited to sit in the way back.  It's the little things. :)

The flight was uneventful.  I have been dragging C on plane rides and roadtrips since he was a wee babe and he has always been a rockstar traveller.  For that I am thankful!  Papa picked us up and to say C was thrilled to see him would be an understatement.  When we got to Nana and Papa's house this little snuggly bug was waiting for us!

Oh, she is so precious!  This was the first time we'd met and everyone had been saying she was in the "stranger anxiety" stage.  So, I wasn't expecting a warm welcome.

Sweet girl just knew we were family I guess. :)  She didn't cry once and it was almost like we were instantly some of her favorite people.  Loved that!  Also loved?  How incredibly sweet C was with her.  He wanted to play with her, hold her, feed her, burp her.  You can tell baby M has a big sister because she was cool with all that in-your-face kind of love. ;)

This next one is so precious!  I really need to blow it up and have it framed it's that sweet!

See?!?

Time for the burping, which C found hilarious.

Baby M found it concerning, I think. ;)

We spent most of the day oohing and ahhing over my baby niece until her big sister came to play!

That night we went to the T-Rex restaurant, per C's request.  The big kids loved it!

Silly boy!

I don't think I am a person who takes extravagantly long showers.  But, apparently I spend enough time in there for this little munchkin to get in to all sorts of stuff.  I found him like this a few weeks ago.  I actually found him with his head in the water. ;)  And he was kind enough to give me a whole show after I ran downstairs for the camera.  Silly boy makes me laugh!  (He says he needs binoculars, but I think he meant windshield wipers) :)

17 months!

While we were back in Kansas for a visit (plenty of pictures to come from that trip!) we were surprised by an update on our lil' peanut.  It was so great to see his sweet face and hear about what he's doing.  As we continue to wait for the ministry of health and welfare in Korea to begin accepting EP submissions, it is hard not to grow discouraged (very, very discouraged!) but we believe this sweet baby is, as they say, worth the wait.  Totally. 

This update was a surprise!  A very happy one!  When I opened these pictures my mind screamed "toddler"!  I feel like he's transitioned from that baby look. :(  Sad, but we're so happy that he's healthy and growing.  He weighs 24.4 lbs. and is 30.3 inches tall. 

Here's what else our lil' peanut is up to these days...

* sleeps from 10pm-7am and takes one nap a day

* He is WALKING now!!!  Not just walking, but walking well they say. :)

* throws a ball forward

* puts tiny objects into a container

* scribbles spontaneously

* identifies one body part (wonder which one it is?) ;)

* uses voice in conjuction with pointing

* jabbers at play

* imitates doing housework and other realistic activities

* enjoys imitating adult behavior

* indicates discomfort over soiled diaper verbally or by gesture

And here is what we learned from the notes section of his report...

* He eats steamed rice with a variety of side dishes.  She (yes, it said that!  I told hubs there better not be any surprises that big when we show up to meet him) ;)  Anyway...he also eats fruit, meat, milk, soy milk, etc.  He uses a straw and tries to use a spoon.

* His personality is hurried and active!  We're ready for ya buddy! :)

* And he is a drooler!  You probably noticed the little rash around his mouth.  His foster mom is keeping an eye on it, but they think it's from constantly wiping off his slobber.  Ha!  They also said that now that they are using salt to season his food it seems to have gotten redder.

These are just random little tidbits about our boy, but they are so wonderful to read about.  This is all we know of him.  And we treasure any and every detail we're given.

We continue to pray each day that the ministry will begin processing EP's and that our lil' peanut's paperwork will be in the first batch of submissions.  Everyone who is waiting to travel is hoping the same thing, I'm sure.  We all just want to bring our babies home!  We have an added sense of urgency as we want our baby to be able to meet his Daddy before he's 2 1/2 years old!  Hubby is deploying in mid-April for nine months.  So, if we don't travel before he leaves, our little boy will be almost 2 1/2 before he and hubby meet each other.  I try not to let my mind go there because it just breaks my heart.

Conquering the hill

I don't know if you heard him, but the first thing he said after that was "Can we do that again?!"  We did.  And this time I made the mistake of using my hands to keep us from plowing into the house at the bottom of the hill.  Ouch.  It hurt worse than it looked. ;)  I should mention that we were not dealing with fine, powdery snow.  It's pretty much packed ice.

Then it was Daddy's turn.  They had a pretty tame ride...or maybe I'm just dramatic.

:)

One year waiting...

One year ago today we received our referral.  One year ago, I listened, giddy with excitement, as our social worker told me about this little four and a half month old baby boy.  One year ago, I thought I would burst waiting for hubby to call me so I could share the news.  One year ago, on separate sides of the country, hubby and I shared our first look at our son via webcam.  One year ago, I marveled at a tiny, precious face and crazy hair.  One year ago, I became a mother once again.  One year ago, I fell in love.

Today, I'm still in love.  But, if I'm being completely honest, I'm in love with an idea.  I loved C from the moment I discovered I was pregnant.  And then when I saw him for the first time, I was blown away by how much more I loved him.  And the first time I held him, my love grew even more.  The first time I saw him smile.  The first time I heard him laugh.  The first time I left him in the care of someone else.  The first time he reached for me.  The first time he fell and hurt himself.  The first time he snuck from his bed to mine in the middle of the night.  The first time he said "I love you."  The first time he told a joke.  Each time, my love grew.  And it's not just the firsts...it's every little moment that makes me pause and catch my breath because I didn't think it was possible to love him more.  The more I know him, the more I love him.  That's it, isn't it?  You cannot fully love a person until you fully know them.  That's why my love keeps growing, because there's always something new to learn about that boy. 

And I don't know my lil' peanut.  That time spent together, those simple, every day moments that forge a bond of love and trust between a mother and child...we haven't had any.  It's been a year of dreaming and wondering and imagining what he might be like.  But, I don't know him.  And I'm going to be realistic with my expectations now so I don't beat myself up about it later.  I am not expecting love at first sight.  It's very easy to acknowledge that's how it will be from his point of view.  But, I think there's a certain expectation (whether put in place by myself or others, I don't know) that I will fall in love the moment I meet him.  And I will, I'm sure.  Love him.  But, that "I am yours, you are mine, forever and always" kind of love.  That doesn't happen in an instant.  It takes time.  I think it will begin to grow in the midnight hours as I sit up with a child who is scared and confused and grieving.  It will deepen as I change his diapers, discover his favorite foods, and act like an idiot to earn those first belly laughs.  Love will blossom when I'm on my knees praying over his little life.  I am giving myself permission to give it time. 

Baby, my arms are aching to hold you.  And my heart is aching to fall in love with you.  Please Lord, let our time together start soon.

Time well spent

We are a one car family.  It's fairly new still, it's been about a month.  I had yet to feel inconvenienced by it.  Hubby works very close to home, so it's no big deal to just drop him off in the morning and pick him up at night.  This weekend was our first experience with battle assembly as a one car family.  And, it was a little inconvenient.  Due to the fact that he had to be in super early.  Earlier than even our little alarm clock rises.  I have been abiding by the "never wake a sleeping baby" rule since C was, well, a baby. ;)  So, in lue of having a little grumpy pants on my hands all day, I chose to give up my rights to the car.  I didn't like the feeling of being stranded at the house for the entire day.  But, it turned out to be really wonderful.  I got caught up on laundry and did a few other chores around the house...but I spent a lot of very intentional time just being with my kid.  Monster truck shows, race cars, pet store, zoo, Toy Story, playdoh, campout, tickle fests, story time...and my favorite moment of the weekend...watching Food Network Cake Challenge together.  There are a few kids movies that I really like and actually don't mind watching again for the 17th time (Tangled, Bug's Life, Nemo) but it's pretty rare to find something appropriate for C that I find just as engaging.  And you can imagine how thrilled I was when he asked after the show if we could have our own cake challenge...

I don't know how it happened, but a different Toy Story character took credit for all of my masterpieces.  And I don't really think it was fair that Woody got to be the judge when he made one of the cakes. 

This weekend made me happy.  And I know it made C happy too.  I need to do more of this.  Put everything else on the backburner and just be with him.  That little guy is so precious and so worth my time.