The things he says...

Me:  You know I love you.
C:  I love you too.
Me:  A lot.
C:  I love you a lot too.  A million inches.

"Honey, could you quiet down."

C:  My grandma was a cheetah and my grandpa was a tiger just like me.  And I like pancakes.  My grandparents used to let me have them.  When I was two years old they did.  And then they died.
Me:  Did that make you sad?
C:  No, cuz I will still kill people.
raising my eyebrows
C:  No, no I didn't mean good people.  I'm just talking about killing bad people.

"Honey, could you give our kids a bath?  They stink!"

This conversation occurred during my sister's last visit while she was changing my nephew's diaper...oh, you already know where this is headed don't you...
C:  He's got a little penis.
Me:  Well, he's a little person. 
C:  When he's a big boy like me he'll have a long skinny penis just like me.

"Where's princess peach?  She's my best girl.  She came to my birthday."

Me:  C, I'm really glad you're my son.  I love you.
C:  (fake burp)
Me: C, that wasn't very nice.
C:  Sorry Mommy.  Do you forgive me?
Me:  Yes I do.
C:  (real fart)

C:  I'm so disappointed with my brother (FYI he's had a "brother" for several months now.  Usually he's doing things C isn't allowed to do, his name is Chris, and he's almost always nine years old.)
Me:  You are?  Why?
C:  Because he keeps putting poop all over his food.
Me:  Oh, that's disgusting.
C:  Yeah, and then he eats it!
Me:  Yuck.  How are you going to get him to stop?
C:  Maybe by punchin' him or kickin' him or somethin'.

Since he does often speak of his "brother" after we received our referral I had to explain to him that now he actually has a brother.  So, he needs to be careful what he says because people will think he's talking about his real brother and not Chris.  He took it to heart because lately he's been adding a disclaimer...
C:  Can you just do what my brother says?  Talkin' 'bout Chris, not the baby.

C:  But, I really want Grace to be my mom.
Me:  Well, I think Miss Grace is pretty busy with the two kids she already has.  Besides, you're my kid and I love you way too much to ever give you to someone else.
C:  If you were a kid and I was a grown up I would give you away to somebody else because you're stinky.